The Waiting

Do you know that Tom Petty song? The chorus goes:

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part.


That's what I'm doing right now. I took my test last Thursday. I don't find out how I did until sometime this month.

About the test: I was allowed four and a half hours to take it and I took a little more than four hours. It was pretty grueling. The exam was computer-based and had 5 different sections: 3 multiple-choice sections of 30 questions each, and 2 simulation sections which are basically case studies where you have to do some research, write some form of communication (usually a memo) based on the topic, and do some fill-in-the-blank and pick-a-choice-from-a-drop-down-menu types of questions. I usually do best at multiple choice questions, but on this test, I really think I did better at the simulations. Some of those multiple-choice questions were pretty tough. Oh I forgot to mention that one of the sections was an "evaluation" section. That means that the people that design the exam are evaluating that section to see how test-takers do, so that they can decide if they need to make any changes before they include those sections on future exams. It also means my responses don't count for that section. They don't tell you which section is the evaluation section. It could be one of the multiple-choice sections or it could be one of the simulation sections. I just hope the evaluation section was the section I did the worst on... whichever one that was.

I have no idea how I did. I think I did pretty good on some parts, and I think I nailed some questions. But others... well, they were guesses. I just hope I passed. I need a score of 75 or better to pass.

So here I wait. I'll be checking the examiner's Web site daily this month to see how I did, but until some number magically appears in that little box on their site, I get to wait.

I need a break!

Lately I have been studying like a madman for my final section of the CPA exam. It's the auditing section. I take it on Thursday, and I'm really nervous about it. Auditing is not my strong point. I took a class in auditing as part of my bachelors degree, but that was about 6 or 7 years ago. I'm not remembering much from that class, so I've been doing a LOT of reading lately. I have taken the day off tomorrow, and I will spend the entire day doing practice test questions to hopefully prepare me for the exam Thursday afternoon.

Anyway, I needed a break from studying for a minute, so I found a few funny videos that I wanted to post.

The first is a video made by a friend of my sister's, and is worth a chuckle or two. The second is "The Man Cold" and is just so dang funny. The third is Donny Osmond having all his dreams come true with Jimmy Kimmel. The last one is President Monson from this past April's General Priesthood Meeting.

Enjoy!

New computer

Here at work, we got some new computers a couple of months ago. We haven't set them up yet, though, because you have got to be crazy to make any technological changes in March or April in a CPA office that specializes in taxes. It's like inviting disaster.

A few years ago the power went out for about two hours on April 15th. That was exciting. Turned out a dump truck driver forgot to put down his dump bed thing and drove under some power lines at a power substation. Genius. Knocked out power in about half of the Salt Lake Valley. I'm sure there were more than a few swears heard that day.

Anyway, we haven't wanted to mess with these computers until after crunch time was over. So we have had these Dell boxes sitting around the office for a couple of months, waiting for someone to get bored enough to set them up. I guess I was the first one to get bored enough, so the job is mine to set these computers up. That, and I have the least amount of seniority. Hooray for peeons!

I usually like playing with new technology, and it's pretty cool to look at my room right now. I have three monitors on my desk, two CPUs on the floor and two more on my desk. I have two CPUs hooked up to one of the monitors, and I can switch back and forth between the two of them as I install the software. I guess you could say I have phenomenal cosmic power and an itty-bitty working space. If I had a camera with me (or a camera-phone that worked right) I would show you. It's very impressive.

Anyway, I say I usually like playing with new technology, but right now I find myself silently cursing the Microsoft Corporation. Why on earth would they take something like Windows XP, which they finally got to work with relatively few errors, and pervert it into Windows Vista?!?!? Of the 20-30 applications that I have the joy and pleasure of installing on all of these computers, I think there are 5 which don't have "known compatibility issues" with Vista. I have had to figure out all sorts of work-arounds to get these programs installed. Oh... and just because two applications (different versions of QuickBooks) are made by the same company (Intuit), that doesn't mean that the work-arounds will be the same. Sure is fun trying to figure out which things to install in what order and which error messages to ignore and which .DLL files to delete and reinstall after the program install finishes.

I think Bill Gates should be dragged into the street and tried for his crimes against humanity.

I would say we should switch it up and go to Macs (because my wife really has enjoyed her MacBook and I have really enjoyed their TV commercials), but of the above-mentioned 20-30 applications, I think approximately zero work on a Mac.

At least my desk looks cool right now.

Oh the Humanity!

Did you hear about this news story?

Truck accident spills 14 tons of Oreo cookies on Illinois interstate; no injuries
Associated Press
May 19, 2008

MORRIS, Ill. - Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway.

Illinois State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney says the truck's driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on Interstate 80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median.

"The boxes came out of the trailer and boxes were ripped open," he said.

The crash about 50 miles southwest of Chicago remains under investigation. Mahoney says no charges have been filed but both lanes of traffic remain closed while authorities remove the cookies.
_____________________________________________

Gas prices are astronomical, wheat and corn prices are up there as well, there are shortages of rice, and now this happens? Mark my words: you will see dramatic increases in the cost of Oreos in the coming days as the effects of this tragedy trickle down to your local supermarket. Don't think it will stop there, either. With the supply of Oreos diminished, there will be runs on grocery stores. People will be hoarding the popular sandwich cookie. When the Oreo shelves are barren, you can bet that other brands of cookies will be grabbed as substitutes. Once the hoards of shoppers have filled their carts with the delicious snacks, they will realize you can't eat Double Stuf Oreos without milk (although I can... I don't really like milk)! There will be a mad dash to the dairy sections of supermarkets and milk will literally disappear off of the shelves! Fights will ensue as people grapple for the same carton of white goodness! Prices will inevitably rise! We will soon be wishing for the days when milk cost only $4 a gallon! WHEN WILL IT END?

Thomas Jefferson said: "Every generation needs a new revolution." I think now is the time. We must rise up, my friends, and break these shackles that are binding us! Join with me in a bloodless coup for lower food and fuel prices! Viva la Revolución!

But first, I'm going to go eat some Oreos.

Jerry Seinfeld

I did it. I broke down and bought a couple of tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld when he comes to Salt Lake in June. They were kinda pricey, but we didn't go when he came last time (a few years ago), and we heard from someone that did go that it was absolutely hilarious. I wouldn't expect anything else. We watch reruns of his TV show almost daily, and I even have one of his books (I wonder where that is... note to self: find that book and re-read it). So, I decided that we needed to go to it.

When the 2002 Winter Olympics were here, we went downtown a couple of times to check out the action, but we didn't go to any of the competitions. Tickets to Olympic events were pretty expensive, and we were pretty poor, but we are forever kicking ourselves that we didn't just buy some tickets to something so that we could see some Olympic competition in person. In retrospect, we could have cut back somewhere and been able to make it work. Eating peanut butter and pasta (not necessarily at the same time) for a month or two would have been fine. I mean, how often do the Olympics come to your town? Duh. We were lame.

So we're going to see Jerry Seinfeld. He's very funny, and one of the top comedians of "my time." I think if we didn't go we'd probably wish we would have.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Kristina, my wife, likes to run races. She doesn't necessarily enjoy running, but she likes races (and the shirts you get for participating). I think she's a little disturbed. She talked me into running a 5k once. Once. It wasn't a horrible experience, I'll give you that, but it's not one that I would say I enjoyed. I did get a long-sleeved T out of the deal, so that's pretty cool, I guess.

A few months ago, she got the idea into her head to run the Wasatch Back Relay, a race sponsored by the renowned Ragnar Race Series. Yeah, I've never heard of them, either. Apparently Ragnar does several of these types of races throughout the year to help people punish themselves. I think they're secretly run by Opus Dei (this is a reference to The Da Vinci Code -- so if you haven't seen the movie or read the book, you might not get it).

Anyway, Kristina put together a team of 12 runners to run a relay race from Logan, Utah to Park City, Utah. I'll save you the trouble of looking it up on MapQuest: it's 178 miles. Each of the 12 runners take 3 legs over two days. Wait... that sentence looks a little weird. Let's try again. Each runner runs 3 different sections of the race, and the race takes place over two days in June. Yes, they run through the night. People think this is fun. People are sick.

I have been recruited to drive one of the support vehicles for Kristina's team. I'm actually pretty excited to be a driver. I've seen pictures of the race course from the Ragnar Web site, and it looks very pretty. Maybe I'll have to bring a camera and take some pictures. I just hope the vehicle I drive has good A/C. I don't want to be stuck in a large van with a bunch of smelly runners.

So Kristina has been doing a little bit of training to get ready for the race. She's been going to our local gym to run and to take some spinning classes to build up her endurance and increase her speed. This last weekend she ran a 5k that was sponsored by our local junior high school. Proceeds went to Primary Children Medical Center, so that's good. Anyway, she ran this race and did pretty good. In fact she actually got a medal. I should have taken a picture of it to post on my blog. That would have been cool of me. Probably I'll have to do that sometime. Here's a link to the results of the race: http://www.lehijrhigh5k.blogspot.com. As a side note, the overall race winner is a friend of mine from high school. He's also on Kristina's Wasatch Back team. Apparently he's pretty speedy.

So way to go, Kristina! Way to win a medal in a race. I think that's really cool.

May Day!

It's May 1, 2008, and what is the temperature at my house? 34, thank you very much. I even woke up to a dusting of snow. Now that I'm at work, I look out my window and I see dark gray clouds and some snow falling. Did I mention that it's May? Oh ok. Eight years ago, when my wife and I woke up the day after our wedding (which was May 10), we woke up to a few inches of fresh snow. It melted later in the day, but still... I guess it's not too weird to have snow in Utah in May, but it's not what we want right now. Talk to me in six months.

I guess it could be worse, though. Here I sit in a comfortably-heated office, while my sister is riding with her son on a big yellow school bus to the zoo. They are going to freeze!

Anyway, a new month is here, so that means I need to change the page of my Demotivator wall calendar. Do you know about Demotivators? They are pretty pictures and nice sayings designed to give you less reason to work harder or be more productive. This month's is called "Customer Care." I'm not necessarily saying that this is my company's unwritten motto...


I think Demotivators are hilarious. My wife introduced me to them when I was in college, and she has given me a Demotivator calendar every year for... how many years now? At least our entire marriage, I think. There are more than 90 different de-motivating thoughts. I dare you to read them and not laugh out loud. I thought about typing them all out--or posting all the pictures--for your enjoyment, but when you read the one called "Procrastination," you'll see why I didn't.

Okay, I'll post one more picture. It's one of my absolute favorites. My mother-in-law works in a high school career center and likes to put this picture on the wall...


Some kids don't get it. They're the same ones who will soon be asking you, "You wanna super size that?"