Here Comes Santa Claus...

So far this Christmas season, I have gone to two events dressed as Santa Claus.  This is a little odd, because I'm not what you would describe as a "jolly old elf."  I'm 32 (not old).  Jolly?  Okay, I've been known to have a good time, but I'm not really so jolly.  I do have a bit of a belly, and it might jiggle a little when I laugh, but definitely not "like a bowl full of jelly."
So how did I get these two Santa gigs?

One word: Family.

My dad owns a Santa suit and used to play Santa before his head injury a few years ago.  My mom made me a fat suit when I was in high school (that's a story for a different day).  Add these two bits of costume together, and voilà!  A recipe for success.

My brother, who of course knows about the Santa suit and the fat suit, is on the activities committee in his LDS ward, and so he was involved in planning their annual Christmas party.  He asked me to come make a visit to his ward Christmas breakfast party thing.  So I put on my fat suit, and my dad's Santa suit, and my jolliest of moods, and this is what resulted:

(That's my awesome wife on my lap.)

The next day, I got a phone call from my dad.  He said their ward Christmas party had to be changed to a new night and the Santa they had originally arranged couldn't make it on the new night.  He talked to someone on their activities committee and kinda volunteered me to show up to their party, so he was calling me to see if I would be available.  So I gladly donned the costume and reprised my role.

So I got to be Santa for a bunch of kiddos in Utah.  It was really fun.  And yes... it's VERY HOT in all that getup, but playing Santa has been one of the most fun things I've done.  It's a great feeling to enter a room and have people cheer and clap because you're there.  Even if it's not really *you* they're cheering.  Then to have kids line up and crowd around you with such anticipation.  Sure, there's a bit of pressure there, but you're Santa, so it's all good.

The little kids that are about 3 to 7 years old or so are SO DANG CUTE!  Most of them would eagerly, and somewhat shyly, climb onto my lap for their little interview.  I would ask them their name, and they would tell me, while staring deeply into my eyes.  I would ask if they've been good, and they would earnestly tell me they have been.  Then I would ask them what they would like for Christmas.  Some knew exactly what they wanted and were so excited to tell me.  Others would sit there for a moment, deep in thought, before telling me their greatest Christmas wish.  Then I'd give them a little treat -- a candy cane or whatever -- and send them on their way with a pat on the back and a "Merry Christmas!"

Some kids were very nice, and brought Santa a gift of their own.  I got a cookie from one little boy, hand-colored pictures from a couple other boys, and a jingle bell on a ribbon from a little girl.  So cute!

There were a few kids that were so excited to have Santa near them, that they just hung around, watching.  Santa would be busy with other kids, but out of the corner of my eye, I would see a few kids lingering in awe, hoping for a chance to talk to Santa again.  Then when it was time to leave, these same kids would follow Santa to the door and wave at him while he left.

My small role as Santa was a heart-warming experience, and my favorite part was the kids that would just stare into my eyes with such wonder.

Merry Christmas!

How Appropriate

As Congress works feverishly to try to pass a health care bill that very few people have actually read, and as Obama meets behind closed doors with Democrats who aren't fully supporting this bill, I think it's appropriate to point out what is on my Demotivator calendar for this month:

(Click the pic for a bigger image)

http://despair.com/government.html

Have a nice month!

I'll Get To It Later...

My Top Ten Reasons to Procrastinate:

1.







.

This Day in History

On this day in history:

November 19, 1863: President Abraham Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg Address, one of the most memorable speeches in American history. In just 272 words, Lincoln brilliantly and movingly reminds a war-weary public why the Union has to fight -- and win -- the Civil War.

November 19, 1969: Soccer legend Pelé scores his 1,000th goal and dedicates it to the poor children of Brazil.

November 19, 1977: Egyptian President Anwar El Sadat becomes the first Arab leader to officially visit Israel when he meets with Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin.

November 19, 1998: U.S. House of Representatives begin impeachment proceedings against President Bill Clinton.

November 19, 2009: In-N-Out Burger opens their first two burger joints along the Wasatch Front.  Each of these restaurants are about twenty minutes from my house, albeit in different directions.  There will be another one just a few minutes from my house, and it's almost finished.  I'm a little excited, but not enough to go wait in a huge line today.  Maybe tomorrow.

Some people out there (you know who you are, go hide your head in shame) aren't fans of In-N-Out, but I think they're pretty dang good... and fast... and really inexpensive.  The first In-N-Out burger I ever had was in Las Vegas, on the way home from a Disneyland trip with my wife about a year and a half ago.  That was before I ever knew about their (not-so) Secret Menu (here and here), so I only got a regular hamburger and fries.  Now that I know about the other stuff, I prefer their burgers animal style.  Sometimes a single, sometimes a double-double.  Someday if I'm feeling especially stupid, I might try a 3x3, but I will never, ever try this or this.

If I were to rank my choice of burger joints, I think I would put them in this order: Hires Big H, JCW's, Five Guys, In-N-Out.  However, this order can change, depending on my burger mood of the day.

Your history lesson is over.  You may return to your regular Thursday activities.

Confessions

Sometimes a little bit of confession can be therapeutic, and  there are a few things I need to get off my chest.  So here we go:

I slurp my popsicles.

I write myself reminders on little quarter-sheets of paper and bring them home, where they end up in random places to remind myself of what I need to do.  Sometimes I forget about the random pieces of paper, and then I find them months later, after I haven't done what I was supposed to remember to do.  I used to have a planner or a notebook when I was in school, but now I do this.  I'm not convinced that it's a better system, but it's what I do.

I have received hand-me-downs (and hand-me-ups) from every member of my wife's family, including her mom and sister.  I may or may not wear some (or a lot) of those clothes on a regular basis... Not so much the ones from her mom and sister, though.

I own a fat suit.  My mom made it for me when I was in high school so that I could play the part of a fat woman in some videos we made for assemblies.  I've used this same fat suit to play Santa Claus before.  Yep.  I'm that cool.

I enjoy making spreadsheets for every major financial decision.  I compare stores, brands, features, and prices.  I get this from my dad.  It's kind of a compulsion.

I may or may not own a pocket protector.  Okay, I do.  It was given to me as a gag gift while I was in the MTC.  I have never used it, though, but I keep it around for emergency costume situations.

If I have taken off my socks, I don't like to put that same pair back on, regardless of how long I wore them before taking them off.  Even if it was only a minute.  Also, I may or may not have a pack of brand new socks in my drawer that I have never worn.  I may or may not be saving them for some unforeseen occasion.

Sometimes I have a hard time keeping secrets.  This is especially true if I have bought my wife what I think is a good gift.  Christmas is really hard for me for this reason.  She's nice, though, and doesn't try to get it out of me and ruin the surprise.

Speaking of that, I just bought my wife a really, REALLY good Christmas gift yesterday.  I'm going crazy trying to keep it a secret.

I rarely carry cash, and so I charge everything I pay for (and then pay it off each month).  However, I usually feel embarrassed if I am charging anything under $3... so I have actually bought things I didn't really want in order to make the total go higher than $3 or $4 so that I'm more in my comfort zone of credit card use.

I may or may not have turned on my sprinklers while my neighbors were crossing through my yard.  I may or may not have laughed while they tried to figure out a way around it.  Why they don't just use the sidewalk, I will never know.  (I may or may not be the grumpy old man on my street.)

There.  I feel better.

Baptism

My wife and I went to a baptism yesterday.  It was the baptism of the 8-year old son of one of our dear friends, and it was great.  It really was a very nice service, and we were happy to have been able to attend.  While we were there, I noticed something that really made my chuckle, and rather than just keeping it to myself, I'm sharing it with you, the Internet.

The program agenda thingie that they hand out so that everyone knows what's going to happen and when had this on the cover:

Sorry about the awesome red "sample" written across the guy's chest.  I didn't want to just scan and post the actual program because that would be copyright infringement, so I took this from the publisher's Web site. . . also I'm downstairs and the scanner is all the way upstairs.

Okay, like I said, that picture was on the cover of the program.  I thought it looked nice.  Then I looked at it harder and I thought to myself, "I wonder where this church building is that has windows and a plant right behind their baptismal font.  Probably one of those rich stakes in Draper or California.  Maybe they have their own specially-designed building."  (Speaking of rich stakes, have you seen the stake center next to the Newport Beach California Temple?  Wow!  That cost a few bucks!)

Anyway, I looked at that picture for a few minutes, then I realized that the guy is only up to his knees in water, and when I baptized my nephew last month, I remember the water was up to my waist.  Then it hit me... this is a picture of a guy and a kid in a BATHTUB!  Granted, it's a very great and spacious bathtub (one that the whole family might be able to enjoy), but it's a bathtub still the same.  I really got a chuckle out of it, because. . . I guess if your stake center is all booked up and you really need to do some baptizin' you could find a really big bathtub and take care of it there.  Maybe turn on the whirlpool jets for an extra memorable occasion.

P.S.  This program cover also comes in "girl."

Odometer

So I hit this milestone in my car the other day:

Yep.  77,777 miles in my little car.  Not all of those miles are mine.  I bought the car from my dad, and I think about 24,000 are his.  But still... I was pretty excited to have all 7s on my odometer.  I was also excited when it showed 70,000 miles earlier this year.  I get excited about stuff like that.  I'm very easily entertained.

Oh, and I may or may not have pulled over in my other car on the way home from Mount Rushmore last month to take this picture:

I might have a problem.